Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Still Alive

Hey all.  Haven't written much these days.  Dealing with ... stuff.  I like to throw a quote or two your way though, as you see, to let you know I'm still alive.

How are you?  How's your week going?  We got freezing rain here last night which made for slightly slippery roads, but it's dissipated since and now it's just.. cold. I spent the evening with friends that are family and I feel a bit better; a bit more grounded.  Content.

Is it just me, or is Christmas sneaking up on people?  I haven't even begun to think about Christmas shopping.  I have doubt about how much I'll be able to buy for presents; I'm still paying off Babu (which will be paid off in a couple weeks) and I've got to pay down a bit on the credit cards.. so.. I don't know.  I'm trying to think of an alternative to buying, but.. what?  I could bake.. but.. is that too.. predictable?  Common?  I have to buy for the parents, and my niece and soon-to-be-nephew (SO excited) I don't have much money outside of that.  I seriously need to marry rich.. sigh.. money just doesn't grow on trees.  Hmm.. I do like to entertain, so maybe I'll hold a big dinner?  An idea.  All I really want to do is spend time with people anyways.

My faith, after a brief hiatus, continuously increases albeit slowly.  I still have problems with some things, but right now it just seems a bit.. easier again.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before rising.   /crypticness

Cards.  I was looking for Christmas cards last night and didn't see any I like.  This is something I DO like to do, so I've gotta get on that.  I mean, are we REALLY near the end of November already?!  What just happened?

Applying for a second job is not going well; I'm not getting in anywhere.  I'm only mildly frustrated.  Give it time :P

I've succeeded in losing a few pounds.  Not much!  But a start.  Eating (mostly) Gluten Free is helping.  It's giving me encouragement to keep going.

Anyways folks, take it easy.  Stay safe if the weather is bad; dress warm; prepare.  Have a good rest of the week!

Saturday, November 19, 2011


A first essential setting for learning hope is prayer. When no one listens to me anymore, God still listens to me. When I can no longer talk to anyone or call upon anyone, I can always talk to God. When there is no longer anyone to help me deal with a need or expectation that goes beyond the human capacity for hope, he can help me (cf.CCC 2657). When I have been plunged into complete solitude...; if I pray I am never totally alone.
 ~ Encyclical, Spe Salvi. No 32., from the book The Virtues, Pope Benedict

Monday, November 14, 2011

Friends, Babies and Poi

So I'm happy to have a low-key day today 'cause I'm recovering a bit from a fantastic weekend.  Saturday was a bit muted but got together with a couple friends in the afternoon and went out for dinner.  Sunday was full of win from beginning to end.  I pulled off a challenging song Sunday at Mass then went out for breakfast. Got home and not long after Ange came over.  We haven't seen each other in a while (we seem to go in spans of 'forever') but we never have problems catching up; what I like about visiting with her is, the "catching up" doesn't HAVE to necessarily deal with everyday schtuff.  I mean sure, it comes up, but it's brief.  It's nice.  So we visit and head out for dinner to a vegetarian place in town (I became more familiar with it when I went veggie for Lent and she's full vegetarian, so... ) and had a great meal.  But what does she bring me this time?  A disc with fantastic music and a quick lesson on spinning poi.  Yeah, that's right, poi! (Except, I don't spin fire poi, thankyouverymuch).  I won't say no to the fire poi, just definitely not yet :)  So after dinner we headed home, a girlfriend of mine from work came over, chatted and the three of us headed over to another friend of mine's place for poi practice (more room/ceiling height).  I didn't think I'd participate, but upon picking it up (rather naturally, I'm told), I've found it's a nice outlet.  What a workout for your arms, it's fantastic.  It's kind of funny how the mind and arm don't always want to connect.  Your mind envisions it, but the arm can't execute it.. and it makes you left feeling rather fumbled.  But no less determined, mind; you instinctively want to keep trying.  I got myself a couple of times really good, but oddly no bruises to show for it today. So we hung out there for a bit.  I went to bed last night pleasantly exhausted.

This morning I bought tickets for Roger Waters performing The Wall, Live.  And if you don't know who Roger Waters is, well, I'm not sure we can be friends :P  This man's music lived with me through high school and got me and took me places in my mind I didn't know existed (and no, I wasn't always high, thankyou :P).  Concert is next June in Toronto.

Spoke with my brother's girlfriend this morning; she's due in a month and I can't wait.  I'm going to have a nephew!  I'm already blessed with a niece so this will be a nice addition.  After said conversation it occurred to me I'm the only sibling without a child now.  Eeeeexcelllent.  Another reminder of my ever impending single status. Moving on....

Not much else to write about today.  In an effort to save money, I'm ditching my land line and upgraded my cell and got on a plan this weekend.  Except, it turns out I'm not saving much money at all. *sigh*  Technology is funny that way.  But I's gots a fancy new phone :)  (The Samsung Galaxy S2)  I really think at this point I have a problem with compulsions to buy new electronic gadgets.  I suppose there are worse things....

Well, a bit more to do today that I planned so I'm gonna go.  Might go over to Jack's later to spin poi again; she's got the ceiling height I don't.

Hope everyone had a good Monday.

Friday, November 11, 2011

I went (a tad late) to our Remembrance Day ceremonies and walking in, I walked past someone that was  a striking resemblance to one of my ex's.  It made me take aback and I had to look at him again.  I feared staring at the poor man lest he thought I was, well, staring at him.  It was so weird.  I mean, a spitting freaking image.

I stood in my usual spot, the back/side of the arena, standing and leaning against... I don't know what you'd call them, things you can stand at, just wide enough to put a drink on, etc.  Two minutes of silence and silent tears in my eyes, the images, thoughts and feelings of the WWI, WWII vets had to face; heat, cold, mud, lack of clothing, lack of food, the fear.  I thought about some of the stories K. told me over the years; victories, disappointments, injuries, deaths, isolation.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Today I've made a small gesture; I'm going without makeup.  Yes, I'm foregoing vanity for the sake of those who have and are serving.  Silly?  Most likely.  Small, insignificant?  Yeah.  Does it mean much?  Probably not to anyone else but it does to me.  Any lady serving doesn't wear makeup on the field; she has no time nor desire.  They go, they do their work and they don't really give a shit about how they look; they're there to do a job.  Up with the hair and out the tent.  So, instead of the daily ritual of putting on my base powder to even out my skintone, cover-up for the bags under my eyes, a quick dash of shadow for colour, I'm going a la naked.  And at work today, they'll just have to deal :)

Oh and yo, think of everyone parading today; I'm standing "warm" (if you want to call it that, it was snowing), in my mitts and scarf, and they are out in bare hands, just blazers or uniform jackets.  God love 'em for braving the cold.

I'm watching specials on the History Channel and one vet just said, "We stand for 2 minutes, they stand for 65 years."


Remembering those who've served, who are serving and the families currently going through a deployment and/or have been left behind.  Peace, blessings and gratitude be with you.  I wrote my own personal soldier today to let him know I was thinking of him, so likewise, don't be afraid to thank a vet.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Reflection (and Technology Angst)

So.. I've had a case of information-overload, technology-induced anxiety (and I mean literal anxiety - to the point of shaking/being jittery).  The source of most of my mental problems right now revolves around my computer.  I kid you not.  I'm constantly putting off tasks (electronic, or otherwise) that I normally wouldn't put off.  I mean, I'm a pretty damn good procrastinator, but even this phase goes in the Hall of Fame for putting things off.  My apartment isn't as clean as it used to be; my dusting abilities are slacking,  things are disorganized, objects not resting at their proper home, papers not filed.  It's driving my OCD nuts!

The problem is I'm getting too much information and I don't know what to do with it.  It sounds silly in this age of technology that we're in; one would think that one would certainly be used to it by now.  The thing is, I don't want to be (used to it).  I don't want all the information.  I really DON'T need the CONSTANT updates on Facebook about every single thing my friends are doing, commenting, or 'liking'!  I really don't!  And to tell you, if I could quit Facebook tomorrow, I would!  I DON'T like that everyone can (likewise) see what I'm doing; there's no privacy.  Unfortunately, that's all anyone's tapped into these days, so if I want to know what's going on, or mass-communicate to my friends... Facebook's the only way to do it.  Not enough of my friends are on G+, unfortunately (which has more privacy/feed controls).  Then, say, there are new blogs I'm interested in, so I get feeds from them, or texts, the ever popular method of communication (and mine too, really, so it's hard to complain about this, though at times it can be excessive).  And so on, and so on.

When I was a kid, my dad was (and still is, really) in the technology sector.  Apple, to be exact.  The first computer the kids were allowed to play on was the Mac; and I mean, the little square one.  Remember those?  We'd play 'Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?' :)  The very first computer I owed was an Apple IIe (I was the first of all my friends to own a personal computer).  I loved and hated that computer at the same time.  So I'm saying... I've had a lot of time to adjust.  But the more time goes on, the more technology and information gathered and fed through computers, increases.

For a long time now I've wanted to live away from metropolises and be surrounded by nature instead of cars, buildings and city noise (though I can't complain in my current area).*  My 'getaway' place in my head is beautiful; I'll share it with you:  It's a log cabin, surrounded in a valley by mountains.  A river runs through the property and we (yes, 'we' ~ though don't ask me who the 'he' is in the 'we') have just a few animals; sheep (I magically learn how to shear, spin and knit), a cow for milking, cow for beef, a horse (though I don't *love* horses, so I'm not sure why I see one.  To go riding maybe?), a magically reproducing log pile for our fireplace inside.  I do everything on my little homestead (canning, etc) and we're far enough away from the city to have quiet, but close enough should we need essential items, emergency care, etc.  I don't see the world outside of the circle of mountains, though, just inside it :)  The Apocalypse would be going on and I wouldn't know :P  Oh, but I do need to mention - if you visit, please leave everything as it were; I'd hate for things to be out of place when I return ;)

So my point, short of rambling, is I need to somehow create my oasis until I actually get it.  I need to learn to shut off the computer, walk away and do something productive (and/or read one of the hundred books I have on the go).  I've been doing well on weekends I work, I usually won't turn it on; fortunately I can get email on my phone, so I communicate through that if absolutely needed.  There are new things I'd like to do to the apartment, so maybe I'll get around to those this winter.  Paint?  Hang different curtains?  We'll see.

So if I'm neglecting your email, please know that it doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you.  I totally am.  I am just in a state of avoidance.  It's not personal :)

* Though to confuse you further, there are times I love being in the city.  I've visited Toronto a couple times the past few months and part of me misses it (I used to live there).  I love the bustle, the energy, the having-everything-at-hand, the various people (oh there can be some interesting ones), etc, etc.  But as excited as I am to visit it, after a day I'm just as happy to leave.  I'm just not that person anymore.

Monday, November 7, 2011


When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes you feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.
~ Dalai Lama 

Thursday, November 3, 2011


I have a suffering case of ADD so I'm going to make this post short, to the point, and blunt.  Roll with it.

My apologies for not catching everyone up on Babu who's unsure - he's doing fabulously!  He's back to himself, if not a bit better.  He plays a lot more now, which is nice.  I really need to get him more toys; something that's more interactive.  I have him on a good quality food and he's doing well.

I don't know why I'm so jittery and jumpy and have the attention span of a gnat.  I can't read the paper online.  I don't have the ability to sit and write an email.  I have the TV going to distract my attention because I can't seem to concentrate on one thing at once.  Not sure what that's about.

I've come down a bit sick and feel totally wiped out.  Slept 9.5 hours last night (unheard of) and napped 2 hrs this afternoon.  I might watch a movie, pop some popcorn and veg.  Taking care of yourself while your sick sucks.  All I want is someone to come make me soup.

Oh, I also have a Facebook rant brewing but I'm not sure where to post it; here? Facebook? G+?  Ugh.. I can't decide.  All I'm gonna say is I REALLY wish more of my friends were signed up on G+.  I'm really, REALLY hating Facebook right now.  Privacy?  Out the window.  Hey look, I could rant a bit after all.

Tomorrow's Friday; it's my Monday (on an 8-day stretch at work).  Hope y'all got a great weekend planned.

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