Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Vintage Ads

Found these sites via Biomes this morning.  Hilarious.

The first one is 25 Vintage Ads That Would Be Banned Today.  I had some of that Love's Baby Soft!  Gosh, can't remember how old I was.  Some I remember, some I don't and my mouth dropped to the floor.  Really?  Starting babies on cola?  Or, "It's a man's world"?  Oy.  Makes me wonder what today's ads will appear like 30 years from now :)

The second is 15 Vintage Computer Ads That Used To Be Cool.  For all Mac officionadoes, there's some Apple in there for ya :)  Remember a few of those, too.

Also found this one, 18 Cool Inventions From The Past.  Interesting, to say the least.

Edit: Added a site.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Can't Eat What I Used To...

Just so you know, potatoes are the devil.

Also, I can't eat (canned, Campbell's) tomato soup anymore.

*sighs and rubs belly*  :(

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Work Update

Well all, I have good news.  I applied for and received a new position at work.  Same as what I'm doing now, but days (not afternoon/evenings like I work now; there may be some of those, but a rarity) and more hours.  Lots of opportunities to pick up more shifts.  Really looking forward to the change.  NOT looking forward to getting up at the crack of stupid (shift starts at 0630, so I'm up at 0500).  God isn't even up at that hour, for crying out loud.

Did I mention there was a lot of change coming this fall?  I felt it.  I said it, even if it was just in my head :)

Hope you're having a great week!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another." 
~ Cardinal Newman (from Meditations on Christian Doctrine).  He will become Blessed tomorrow from Pope Benedict XVI

LOVE this quote.  

Monday, September 20, 2010


In retrospect, I don't think that my loneliness comes from lack of human contact so much (it can't be that, because I have it and I'm still lonely) so that hints it's emotional and/or spiritual (well, that's a given).  I realized I don't feel needed anymore (physical needs not broached here).  No one's come to me for advice.  No one's needed my help.  No one's needed to lean on me or rely on me for anything.  This is how I've defined my character; how much I'm at a service to others.  When that service depletes, I feel 'less' of a human (I need to examine if that statement is correct as I'm not sure if that's what I want to say here).  Perhaps I want to say.. incomplete.

Also, because I have standards for people keeping in touch with me on certain levels or expectations, doesn't mean that's what their standards are.  I understand I take it personally and I understand that's my problem.  What makes me desire to be held in someone's certain...regard... is unknown.  That's where I think I don't matter.  "If they're not paying attention to me or writing me as often as they used to, I must be unimportant."

Which isn't to say I'm any better.  I am pretty sure I don't conform to some people's expectations of communication (my mother, for one).

Self confidence.  Well, obviously part of that is shot out the window.

Why do we have different levels of needs?  Why am I getting upset at friends' lack of contact?  Why am I being such a girl about this guy not calling me back (even though he told me he was busy)?  Why are womens and mens expectations/needs different?  Why do I feel like I'm in the middle of a black hole?  Why can't I feel the love that I see I do have from my friends?  Yes, I feel like an ass right now and yes I want to bury myself in a hole.

So many questions


I've done a lot of internalizing this weekend.  Mostly all today.  Even though I was in very social surroundings, I was very quiet, very much "in my head".  I've been anxious since yesterday without any particular reason.  I am going to speak of random things without much order or sense.

Have you ever been out and seen who you thought.. you were *sure*.. was someone you knew, only it wasn't?  You saw their 'twin'.  Perhaps their... doppelganger, if you will.  I still remember the day I thought I saw a public school friend of mine at a park event; this was years ago and I still remember it.  Wasn't sure if it was her at first and I literally almost had to stare at this person and follow them to make sure if it was/wasn't her.  It wasn't.  But, she was important to me and it shook me up a little.  My sister says she thought she saw me once, as her masseur (listen, if I was doing that job, I would be better off than I am now).  I was told by someone today they 'saw' me.  What is it that draws people from our past to us in the present?  Why does it shake us up?  Does it mean anything?  Was it coincidence?  If everything happens for a reason, what was the reason for that?  Why do I seek answers to things that have no answer?

I fear I'm not important to anyone.  I'm no one's priority (Babu doesn't count - he's dependent..heh).  I don't even mean to imply that I have to 'belong' to someone or be someone's significant other.  Even though I have someone(s) it doesn't mean I feel any more a part of something.. or of someone.  I even mean to friends; no one's finding time to communicate with me like they used to.  Is it something I've done?  Do I need to change who I am?  I'm just feeling very alone regardless of who or what's in my life right now.  Yes, it may be irrational, but it's there.

I have been feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin lately.  I don't care for this.

Random: Compliance.  Ending?

I watched American's Extreme Home Makeover and it made me wonder if there's not something I can do for the better.  Who can I help?  What can I do to make the world a better place?  Yeah, it brought out the warm-fuzzies.  I hate that show for that.  Sometimes I just want to keep them locked in.  It's easier.

I came across someone today for a repeated time that I feel drawn to.  I don't know what draws me to this person and for the simple fact we don't even know each other that well; sort of by.. association.  At first I thought it was an attraction, but the more I examined it, the more I realized I think the universe is prompting me to get to know this person.  But how?  How do I get to know someone when we never talk, never even really have a chance of talking, never associate with each other outside of a few times a year of chance gatherings??  Am I being vague enough for you?

That's about all I have to say today.  Sorry it's not more positive.  It's not written from a 'self pity' sort of angle, I'm just calling it like I see it (read: how I feel it).  I'm going to continue to be quiet until I get more studying done, so I apologize for some continued random absence.  Medical Terminology is kicking me in the arse (learning latin, biology and new terms all in one shot will do that to ya).  And I have yet to write about last weekends Jazz Festival and Nuit Blanche (SO much fun); I even took pictures!

Happy Monday everyone - I hope the week starts off fabulous for you :)

Edit: Forgot to add something.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Still No Words.. But Lots of Pictures!

I still don't have words for you, but I do have pictures in the meantime.

Walked into the kitchen and saw this one day. 

He's cute :)

Those covers *were* pulled up to the pillows.  Not anymore...

We were getting some bad weather and I saw this sky as I came home.  I thought the different colours were fantastic.  Click to make bigger.  I also took another picture.......

...and I saw more of the two colours.  

I was making the bed one day.  Babu likes to 'help'.  Bunny-kick!

This picture makes me laugh.  He's got such big eyes.  This was after a bit of a pause.  "What do you mean we're not playing anymore?"

Play time again!  He's under there..somewhere.

I see a tail!

He's got such an uninterested look on his face.  "Wut?"

I received these battle wounds at the time.  Thanks, buddy.

Ahh... all tuckered out, now.

Ended up falling asleep under the sheets. 
"Say goodnight, Gracie."  "Goodnight, Gracie"

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Still Alive

Forgive my lack of posting lately.  I'm here, but things feel a little hectic right now.  I'm taking the Leadership seminar series at work, I've enrolled in one more class this fall not two like (last minute) planned.  I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning for my pelvis for my gurl stuff (which started a new cycle AGAIN yesterday, tyvm) and I have to drink a litre of water and hold it for an hour.  Did I mention I have a bladder the size of a pea?  Good times.

I have pictures I want to upload and patient stories I want to share, in due time.  Just bear with me :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer told in my Leadership session yesterday at work.

Monday, September 6, 2010


Who so loves, believes the impossible.
~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Friday, September 3, 2010

Out With The Old?

Something just occurred to me this morning (regardless that it's been fact for over a month now).  I just finished a school program.  Me.  ME!  WTF just happened?!  *stares blankly*  I... finished something.  You don't understand how huge this is for me.  I always got shitty grades in high school (I'm talking C-average) and when I went to college for Architecture I got about B's mostly, but dropped out (various reasons we're *not* going to talk about here).  I had a passion for it, but it didn't come naturally.  THIS is coming naturally.  What fruit it bears, I'm anxious to see.  I maintained my A-average, by the way :)

This morning I decided to take an extra 2 courses (not full program like I just completed).  These will also be assets on the resume.  I really put off doing these because I didn't think I'd have the mental capacity this fall (I really wanted a break from school and I've been feeling poor physically, which is affecting me mentally), but I need to have faith it will work out.  I know if I work hard I can do it.

I'm also taking a Leadership lecture series with the hospital (once a week for several weeks, for a couple hours/session, unpaid) which my department Director has fully backed me up on taking.  The good: Points on the resume, improving self.  The bad: I've pretty much committed to being at the hospital 7 days a week, for the next few weeks now.  If if this doesn't make me slightly homicidal, I don't know what will.

I went to the Pulmonologist this week (nearly missing my app't - I was an hour late and he took me in an hour after I got there).  He got the results of the trial and asked me what I thought, if I liked the machine (no), how often I used it (half to less than half) and if it did any good (so-so).  Despite me telling him the Breathe Right nose strips have been working wonders (sleeping through the night and helping me feel a little better), he still wants me to get the CPAP machine.  Whatever.  Did he read the results at all?  Did he read that the Respirologist thinks I don't *need* the machine?  I'm sure he has to advocate it and I'm sure he had to say the nose strips aren't a solution to sleep apnea.  He's confident if I lose some weight it'll solve everything.  I agree, only easier said than done.  THAT challenge is NOT going well :(

I canned peached for the first time on Tuesday.  It went... alright.  Slightly stressful for my first time.  Might get help next year if I do it again.  They didn't turn out perfect and will be a little mushy, but it should just be me eating them (I'm hesitant to share a less-than-perfect product), so I'm not at all worried about it.

Raining today.  Hope it lets up a bit for my walk to work.

And now, I shall turn up Vivaldi's Four Seasons.....

Thursday, September 2, 2010


Follow your bliss and don't be afraid and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.
~ Joseph Campbell, American mythologist

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