Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Do Not Mean For This To Be A Quote Posting...

Whoever came up with the saying, "It's a dog eat dog world out there"??

Who eats dogs??


Thursday, January 28, 2010


We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle

Coming Into My Own... Or Not..

I'm not sure where to start this post.  I guess I'll start by saying I had a hard time sleeping last night.  Well, I think I fell asleep okay, but I woke up at 4am for some reason and couldn't get back to sleep for a while.  The days events kept running through my mind.

When I was standing in line at the drug store yesterday I read the headlines on the front of the current Oprah magazine, one of which containing, "Coming Into Your Own".  Which is exactly how I've been feeling lately.  When I first started my 30's, it was fabulous.  I had confidence.  I wasn't afraid to speak out.  I was bolder.  But as the years progress, I feel more like an awkward 12 year old, than a brave, confident 30-something.  I've lost my groove.  I've been carving out my niche in the world career wise, but when it comes to personal relationships (friends and otherwise) there's lots of change going on, I see.  What once used to fit, doesn't anymore.  Some friends and I have parted ways the past year; some to my doing, but mostly not.  I understand this happens and it's not *that* that I have a problem with.  I start to question myself.  Is it something I'm doing?  Yesterday was filled with me saying all the wrong things at all the right times, so maybe it's incidences like that.  I don't know.  I feel uncomfortable.  I feel.. like I don't know what to say anymore.  I feel like I want to bury my head in a hole and let the world pass by while I figure this out.  Even when I think I'm saying the right thing, I question if I should say anything at all.  I don't know how else to explain it.  I just feel... awkward.

I tried to do a couple things last night for myself while I had a quiet night in.  I baked.  Y'know what?  Even my baking, I find, reflects my moods.  When I try to bake when I've had a less than stellar day, my end product isn't as great as when I do have a good day.  It's interesting, because I don't do much different.  I did have a nice hot relaxing bath, though.  That was nice.  Did some Psalm reading before bed, too, so that helped.

Anyways, that's my babble for today.  Thank goodness this week's almost over.  I have the weekend off and I plan to relax (and study).

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010


Alright, I'm going to give an unpopular (though not foreign) opinion.  This is driving me up the wall and well, thank God for Canada I have the power to exercise free speech.  You can agree or disagree (or agree to disagree).

I'm tired of hearing about Haiti, plain and simple.  Every time I turn on the TV.  Every time I check the news online.  Freaking Facebook, for crying out loud!  Everywhere: Haiti.  Do you know how much the world has raised for Haiti?  $67 million to date.  $67 million.  That's more than that country will ever see in a lifetime.  Perhaps even 5 lifetimes.  We're spending all our resources to help a country that was already poor to begin with when we won't even help ourselves.  Canada, which is supposed to be one of the richest countries in the world, is still dealing with child poverty (just to take one issue as an example).  This is unacceptable.

I'm not saying we shouldn't help Haiti.  I'm not saying that at all.  They definitely deserve help (medical, re-building and otherwise) and it's all part and parcel belonging to the U.N, right?  But I don't think we should expend our resources and energy completely when we can't even help ourselves.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

For My Fellow Canadians..

I don't often spout politics, but this one plainly pisses me off.  There are, I believe, even some not listed (I'd read somewhere once there was a legislation to do with farming, I forget the details, sorry).  I'll keep my personal opinions aside *mutter, grumble, grumble* about what selfish act Harper has just done (whoops, maybe not).  Want to know how the rest of Canada will be affected?  See this article by the Globe & Mail for a list of bills that just died.  Now they have to start aaaaaaall over.

(Note for other American and wordly readers: Our Prime Minister just prorogued Parliament - we're suspended for 2 months.  Yes, 2 months.)

Friday, January 22, 2010

In Regards to My Last Post...

I found a nice description (or at least, he said it more eloquently than I did) by Ronald Jager, in his book I'm reading, "The Fate of Family Farming".  He says of mixed farming....

"On every farm every one of those elements was intimately tied to each of the others... We hauled the hay that fed the cows that fertilized the fields that grew the grain that thickened the milk that fattened the pigs that supplied the bacon that fed the family that hauled the hay."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pork In A Petrie Dish

Yes, you read correctly.  *shudders*

I was going to say vegans and vegetarians 'move along', but even your food has GMO's (soy).  So this might get your thinking, too.

I'd like you to read this article from the CBC on how scientists are attempting to produce pork in labs.  I have a million thoughts about this article.  I know it's nothing new, as GMO's are swiftly gaining ground.  More than we realize.

The article, thankfully, looks at both positive and negative attributes to this.  Though, I'm not even sure I agree with the positive.  They start to say fish stem cells could be used to replicate omega 3 fatty acids.  Don't replicate the cells, just EAT THE DAMN FISH.  *sigh*  (Sorry, you can see the issues I'm having with this whole.. fake food thing).

Also from the article, "You could possibly design a hamburger that prevents heart attacks instead of causing them".  Then you know what?  Don't eat 5 hamburgers a week! *sighs again*

Haha... none of the researchers have eaten the lab meat yet.  I can't imagine why.  My anger and frustration are caused by this:  Replicated meat (or any food, for that fact) made in a laboratory can NOT be good for us.  It will *never* contain the complete nutritional value we get from eating these foods.  Regardless of how we're starting to condition ourselves as a society ("meat is bad, causes high cholesterol", etc), eating these foods is good, but only in moderation.  When you're able, eat organic.  Omnivores/carnivores: get to know your local abattoir.  *Know* where your food is coming from.  Get your meats, vegetables and even dairy at your local farmers market (I'll get into the whole 'eat local' rant another time)  Don't be afraid to ask questions  :)

The article continues to say, "If it proves possible, experts say growing meat in laboratories instead of raising animals on farmland would do wonders for the environment.".  I highly disagree.  Omitting animals out of our eco system can have grave results.  Yes, the expert who quoted that could be right; it would reduce greenhouse gases, but it doesn't expand how it affects the rest of us.  It's a circle; man depends on animal, depends on crops (feeding), relies on man, relies on... well.. you get it.  

The only positive I can agree with in the article, is that it may alleviate world hunger.  But if some of us aren't willing to feed it to ourselves, how can we justify feeding it to someone else?

This article struck a nerve because yes, I know science is advancing and I know these things are going to happen.  It scares the crap out of me, but anyways.  My fear stems from legislation.  I'm afraid our governments won't label GMO's (they get away with so much already).  We have to know what we're putting in our bodies.  We deserve to know where our food comes from.  

The article closes with, I think, a very (twisted) humourous quote, "As long as it's cheap enough....I can't see any reason people wouldn't eat it."  The geneticist continues to say, "If you look at sausages and other things people are willing to eat these days, this should not be a big problem."  Oh... how I wonder if he had a snide look on his face when he was saying that.  


For anyone that has BPA concerns, I'm going to link you to a post made by Bix over at Fanatic Cook.  Great blog, that Fanatic Cook.  Check it out more when you have a chance.

Post relates BPA exposure and FDA communications (for my Canadian or worldly counterparts, remember this is American-based).  FDA recommends which plastic containers to throw out and when.  See article here.

Thanks, Bix!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Stress, Hormones and IBS

I don't know where to start today. My head's all over the place.

The past 2 days have been miserable.  A little stressful (when I say a little I probably mean a lot).  Random bursts of tears are broken into at any given moment.  I really hope today is better; I can't take another day of this.  The day I start to go through "the change" isn't a day soon enough.  This hormone stuff is b.s. (understand it's just a partial contributor, not the entire factor). And I just.. don't know what to do to make it all... better.

I had a few thoughts about my IBS the past couple days.  It's a pattern I recognized last fall (and changed for the better).  I've had my IBS a long time.. easily 10 years, if not more. I noticed, though, that I got so used to the way my stomach treated me (or first, how I treated my stomach).  (Side note: my GI (doc) would be upset with me using 'stomach' as the definitive term for my problems, when the stomach is not the anatomy that bothers me at all, it's the colon.  So for all intense purposes we'll just call it my G.I tract).  So, moving on...

Last fall I recognized I sort of got used to the 'abuse' my body was causing me.  If I was having a good week, I would (subconsciously, mind) eat something bad to trigger up my G.I tract again.  It's funny psychology, I know.  I got so used to a certain 'way'.  Even though it wasn't the 'right way', I just accepted it as the norm.  It was normal for me to have 3 attacks a week.  I just groaned and accepted it.  I never thought to challenge it.

So I smartened up a bit and started eating a lot better (diet, it turned out, was a big factor. I always knew my 'triggers' but its a full circle).  I started eating more whole foods, less processed foods and less caffeine (although that was already pretty low; I haven't drank pop in a very long time and I just have my coffee in the morning and tea at night).  A big difference.  Then I came across these great probiotics and I was almost having a normal G.I tract.  It was amazing.  For the first time in 10 years.  But then Christmas rolled around, I snuck in a few too many sweets, haven't touched the probiotics and have been eating so-so. I'm trying to get my discipline back again but I've lost the momentum.  I think I'm going to break down and buy the probiotics, though.  After I pay my bills, I'll see where I'm sitting and give it a shot.

So, with recent events happening and the stress I'm under, I'm trying to take it easy.  I haven't had coffee in two days.  I'm not consuming anything high in sugar.  I'm keeping up on my sleep. But none of it seems to be helping.

Anyways, I'm gonna go putter around the apartment.  Try and keep busy or something.  It looks a little dreary out today, but hope everyone's having a good start to the weekend.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Called the school.

Me, "Hi, there would have been paperwork sent in for registering for and I haven't received paperwork or confirmation yet."
Woman on phone, "No, there's no record of registration."
Me, "WHAT?!"


They never received the paperwork from work (my workplace sends it in for me since they're paying).  Alright.  So I'll leave early today and give hell to who I spoke to before.  Granted, she's new and it could have gotten lost or any retarded human error, so I'll be a little nice.  But now we're in a rush because registration closes on the 22nd.   Gah.  I could have been studying by now!

*takes a deep breath and walks away*

Later edit: Work sent in the paperwork late.  When I say late, I mean last Friday.  It wasn't the lady I dealt with that did it late; she actually did it on time, it was Finance.  It should have been there by now, but I'm going to call again tomorrow (and every day until I hear a yes).  Still anxious until I know it's been taken care of.

Changes, a la Cryptic

I want to write something because it's been a few days, but at the same time, I can't write about what I want to write about (at least not for a couple weeks).  I'm not ready to broadcast said news.  It's big, though.  LOTS of change coming for me this year and I'm looking forward to it.

My IBS has *not* been doing well at all lately and I'm getting tired of it.  I might have to break down and buy the probiotics that work.  They're expensive, but they work really well.

Got to talk to my Gram last night to wish her a happy 91st birthday.  I love how she gets so excited to hear from me; "Hi grandma!"... "J.!!!!!!!!". lol.  And to hear that she's proud of me just made my day.  In fact, I think that effect is still lasting.

Oh.  I've decided I'm changing cell phone companies.  Again.  I have not had much luck with Virgin Mobile and will be leaving them.  I find their customer service leaves little to be desired (I've spoken to 2 people in a week and credit I'm owed has STILL not been applied, amongst other instances).  The network itself is fine, though, I don't have as many problems with that.  My LG phone has been randomly shutting off and it's only a year old (not like LG, they make good, solid phones).  So, I'm going back to Telus.  It was hard to leave them and I *loved* their customer service.  So I'll pop into a store sometime and peruse what they have.

I have to call the school today as I haven't received course work yet.  It's late.  I'm nervous.

No plans this coming weekend except work.  Looks like a quiet week ahead.  I think I'm done babbling.

Monday, January 11, 2010


TV makes me tense.

I'd say I spent the last almost 48 hours in complete bliss.  For no absolute reason.  I was just completely relaxed.  I guess I made peace with the things going on in my life and found nothing, lately, to overly worry about (though if you ask, I could still give you a list).  It's been fantastic.  But tonight I turned on the TV (my first mistake) for a couple of routine shows (okay, it was Friends, but don't judge) and just started channel surfing after that.  And channel surfing.  And channel surfing.  The more I came across, the more tense I noticed myself getting (even from bloody commercials!).  And they were just random, everyday programs.  I have been flipping through a foodie magazine and I don't quite have the attention span for that right now, hence the channel surfing, but I just came across Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  This show produces tears, man.  I can't go wrong with Tye *drool*.  (After a few minutes: shut up! When did Xzibit start on the show?)

So... since I've been all relaxed, I've had a glorious weekend.  Saturday was a bunch of nothing.  Completely lazy all day.  Went to Mass in the evening and out to dinner with a girlfriend and we sat in the restaurant and talked for 3 hours.  No kidding.  We had a lot to catch up on!

Today I slept in (okay, when I say slept in, I mean over-slept. I was out for 11hrs).  Got some cleaning done that was badly needed.  Went for brunch with my parents (ate myself silly, it was horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if I gained 10lbs overnight.  It's a good thing I haven't been to a buffet in years and no plans on going back anytime soon!).  Came home, made stew to freeze and well, that leads into the TV saga.

No plans tomorrow except something at church tomorrow night; going with the friend I got together with yesterday for dinner.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Weekend Start

..... is off to a slow one.  Stayed up late last night chatting with the man, slept in a little this morning, but not nearly as much as I should have.  Have strong coffee in hand.  I'm anticipating a relaxing, yet productive weekend.  I'm going to clean the bedroom, re-organize (and perhaps add to) a pile I have going to donation.  I never spend time in the bedroom anymore since I've moved the laptop to the living room (warmer).  I'm going to Mass tonight then having dinner with a girlfriend whom I haven't been able to get together with for a few weeks.  Looking forward to that.

I wrote my family in wishes to get together Sunday, but no one's responded, save for my sister who suggested we go to her place.  I wrote back and apologized that I couldn't go.  My stomach (IBS) hasn't been well and I can't last 1.5hrs in a car.  So hopefully we come up with another alternative (like just going to the parents like I'd planned; they're just 20 min away).  Gotta love a family that's last minute.

Monday I have nothing planned.  If they call me into work I might go, but otherwise just taking it easy.

Hope everyone has a great weekend planned, whatever it is.  And stay warm!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010


I walked by a yoga studio on my way to the chiropractor yesterday.  I contemplated taking a class (they've got a great deal right now; unlimited yoga for a week for $20).  I'm starting to think now, though, taking on another extra course this term I won't have the time.  I really need to discipline myself to start at home again; except I don't have a mat anymore.  D'oh.

Speaking of which, I'm anxious to get studying again.  I'm anxiously awaiting a) confirmation I was accepted for these courses and b) paperwork for said course.  I want to start nooooooooooww...

Landlord has been fixing bathroom tap over the past couple days, replacing parts.  I have started telling him to replace it because the place it keeps faulting (I don't know if my audience knows plumbing lingo, so I'll emit part names) happens every couple of months.  Always in the same spot.  We disagree on theories.  I say it's the unit (it keeps happening in the same spot all the time), he says it's just the (hard) water.  Anyways, he took it apart more today and figures it needs to be replaced.  Thank you.

I don't think I have anything else to babble about.  I'm happy it's Thursday.  Work tomorrow then off for 3 days :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Sad Day

If you're looking for a chipper, cheerful post, move along.  This is about my okay day turned sad.

Remember the elderly returning patient I was talking about that was going downhill?  Yeah.  She died tonight.  And just in a matter of minutes.  We'll call her P.  I went to deliver dinner to her and the nurse just came out and said she won't be eating; she's palliative.  Oh.  Okay.  I carried on.  I got a call for a new meal tray for a patient that transferred in from ER.  I consulted with her nurse and asked if she was lucid (knowing some elderly aren't) and if I could approach her about what she'd like for dinner.  She gave the O.K but warned that Bed 2 just passed and not to tell her yet as she didn't know.  "P?" I said.  "Yeah."  *sigh*  "Geez, okay," I said.  And this was just within a span of not even 30 minutes.  I was as cheerful as possible with Bed 1 while feeling horrible.. well, both for her (knowing what's just happened beside her) and Bed 2 (P.) having died alone.  No one should die alone.

I suspect her daughters were called while being diagnosed palliative because they were there when I delivered the tray to Bed 1.  They were crying their eyes out.  I had to drop off the tray, make sure she was situated and leave as soon as possible or I was going to cry, too.  I wanted to tell the daughters (that I'd come to know so well) that I was so sorry and offer my condolences... but I couldn't even look at them.

I'm sorry.  This post is a bit of babble, isn't it.  I will offer one last piece of information; I didn't know Bed 1 was elderly (hence the 'lucid' question, as not all elderly are).  I don't know what it was, just instinct kicked in.  I had to be in that room at that time for a reason.  I don't know what that reason is.  I could have just given Bed 1 a 'regular' tray.  Anyhoo....

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year...and Random Babbling

Happy New Year, everyone!  I hope you had a fun and safe night.  Did you spend it indoors?  Did you go out and brave the crowds?

I stayed in and was more than happy to do so.  New Years has never been a big deal for me.  I view it as any other day and I'm okay with that.  My predictions for myself and immediate loved ones: It will be a better year.  It won't come without some waiting.  I feel there's going to be waiting (story of my life, "Hurry up and wait").  A little bit of work, perhaps, but otherwise things are going to come easier and be more positive this year.  The previous hard work will start to pay off.  Things will come together.  I hope this goes for everyone around me.  We all deserve a better year.

I was also happy to stay in last night because yesterday just completely sucked.  My nerves were shot because of the blue moon, I had some minor stress about the other half, I got "spoken to" at work by my supervisor (which really wasn't called for, but I need to bite my tongue here), I was starting to get cranky because I've been coming down sick, and because I was sick I was very tired.  Aaaaargh!  Just everything at once.  But.. things are *much* better today all around (though I'm still tired).

It's lightly snowing out.  It's nice.  I've been puttering around the apartment; have laundry on the go now.  I've got to clean up the mess that is my dining table (which has become a catch-all for stuff).  The cat is self amused right now which is nice.  I've got dishes.  Anyone wanna come do my dishes?  You know you want to.  C'mon.  You wash, I'll dry ;)

One of my returning patients isn't doing well.  Doc's can't figure out why she's falling (she's elderly) and she's really going downhill.  First day she was in she was okay, now she can't even speak legibly.  It's hard to watch.  Some other regulars are finally being shipped out, so it's time to get used to a new round of patients.

I've taken all my Christmas stuff down but kept my snowmen up.  I've been going all day.  I really should think about eating soon and taking a break (I've been writing this on and off today).  Seems there's more I wanted to write about, but it all escapes me.  Oh right!  What the last year held.

In the past year, I took up a new position at work, added new (healthier) foods to my diet and kept most of them there.  I became more cognizant of how foods are prepared, consumed, produced, how they affect my surroundings, how important it is to buying local.  I became more in-tune with my body and my illness(es); how to control them (diet) and how not to (medications).  I took on (and still doing) a program at a college via correspondence.  I started volunteering.  I learned a LOT about myself (this itself could take up a whole page).  Gained some new friends, lost a couple.  There were also a lot of stresses and a lot of downfalls, but we won't concentrate on those :)

Well, I need to grab a snack before I meet a co-worker for a drink.  Hope everyone's had a great day!

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